P.R.I.D.E Skills - PCIT

Parent-Child Interaction Therapy (PCIT) is an intervention used with children between ages 2.5-6. PCIT has two phases of treatment. The first phase of treatment is Child-Directed Interaction. As I have trained in PCIT, I have seen immense improvement in the parent-child relationship during this phase of treatment because it is all about play!

Many parents I have worked with report having difficulty being present during play for a variety of reasons. In the first phase of treatment, parents are taught 5 skills they can use to practice playing and connecting with their children.

P - Labeled Praise. Oftentimes parents are managing negative behaviors and it can be easy to forget to praise positive ones! Labeled praise means letting your child know exactly what behavior you like or want to continue seeing. For example:

“Good job” is not a labeled praise. Developmentally, many children are unlikely to know what specific behavior you are praising.

“You did a good job coloring the leaves on the tree” is a labeled praise. This lets the our child know what we like.

Ideally, as parents practice these skills, the praise will focus on specific behaviors you want to reinforce. Here are some more examples: “I really like how calmly you are walking.” or “You did a great job sharing with your friend at the park.”

Children love attention and will often find the most effective way to get it. Practicing noticing positive behaviors helps provide your children with positive attention and can naturally lead to a decrease in negative behaviors (because being praised for a positive behavior feels so awesome!) while also helping parents notice positive things about their child. This can show approval and improve self-esteem!

This parenting skill is useful to practice with children of all ages (not just PCIT age)!

R - Reflections. These are pretty easy to practice and often one that parents pick up quickly. This skill is most appropriate for children in the PCIT age range, as older children can find it odd and unnatural. Reflections are exactly what they sound like - repeating or paraphrasing what your child says. Using this skill is a great way for parents to avoid asking too many questions during play. As adults, we often bombard children with questions. Next time you are interacting with your child or watching another adult interact with them, just notice how many questions they ask them! Questions are not bad, but they do tend to put adults in the lead of the conversation and play. Reflections let children lead the conversation and show your interest in their ideas! They also demonstrate understanding and can lead to increased verbal communication and improved speech.

Here’s an example:

Child: “I drew a mermaid!”

Caregiver: “You did draw a mermaid!”

or

Child: “I’m going to put this [toy] right here.”

Caregiver: “Okay, you’re going to put the [toy] right there.”

Like I said, pretty straight forward!

I - Imitate. As your child plays, it can be useful to “copy” what your child is doing. This does not mean do every single thing your child does. It does mean, if your child is coloring a tree and a sun, you will also draw a tree and a sun. If your child is playing with blocks, grab some blocks to play with! You want to play parallel with your child, unless they ask you to help them with what they’re working on! Imitation lets your child lead and shows them that you approve of their activity. It makes play more fun and will increase your child’s imitation of things you do!

D - Describe. To use this skill, you will describe your child’s behavior. For example, as your child is building with blocks, you might say “You’re making a house” or “You put the orange block on top.” When practicing this skill, you’ll want to focus on using verbs - what is your child doing. These descriptions show interest in your child’s play, models good speech and vocabulary, and can help your child hold their attention on tasks. This skill is especially useful for children who are less verbal (so there’s less opportunity to use reflections).

E - Enjoy! This means acting happy and warm when you play with your child, even if you might feel distracted. However, most parents find that as they practice the other skills they are just more present in play and enjoyment comes naturally! Letting your child know you are enjoying spending time with them increases closeness.

These PRIDE skills do not have to be used all the time, but spending a few minutes practicing them each day can make a big difference in your relationship with your child!